


looks up grinning like a devil

by kunimi_blep



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 7/52, Confessions, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Pining, Post-Graduation, Song: Cruel Summer (Taylor Swift), Suga you can do it oikawa likes you too so much, back on my haikyuu x tswift bullshit, ish, it is mutual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29530149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunimi_blep/pseuds/kunimi_blep
Summary: koushi feels like he's on a fever dream high in the quiet of the night, wonders if tooru knows that he's caught it.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 35





	looks up grinning like a devil

**Author's Note:**

> i love oisuga and i love tswift and guess what,,,,, this had me writing all of this in like 2 hours. what im saying is i have no self-control. yay!!

It's new, Koushi thinks, the shape of Oikawa's body-- not that he has much or any knowledge at all to go by or add on, of what Oikawa's body actually feels like, before any of this. Well, this being Oikawa under Koushi, his hands on skin Koushi has only ever dreamed of him touching.

It's blue, Koushi thinks, always has been, the feeling he's getting, knowing that he doesn't get as much Oikawa Tooru in his life as he's always secretly wanted, like this.

This doesn't make sense, really, not to Koushi at least. Whatever it is that he and Oikawa had been dancing around and running away from since they met in the last year of high school would protest at the sight they make now: Oikawa's hands are under Koushi's shirt and Koushi's lips are on Oikawa's neck and this isn't-- it doesn't make sense and it's new and it's not something Koushi wants either of them to regret when the morning comes.

Koushi wishes he'd drunk more than he did, because then he'd have an excuse to keep going, mindless but purposeful. He'd have an excuse to keep trailing his fingers over Oikawa's neck and hear his breaths hitch. He'd have an excuse to keep dragging Oikawa's hands higher up on his back. He'd have an excuse to keep moaning into Oikawa's mouth as they make out.

But he isn't drunk enough, wasn't really drunk anymore even when he and Oikawa had stumbled into his car, keeping their hands to themselves and a respectable distance between the two of them so that no one would see them all riled up as they were leaving the bar. He isn't drunk enough, and he doesn't know what it is about their old friends teasing them and the two of them sitting too close together at a table that had Oikawa so low in his defenses. He isn't drunk enough, and he doesn't know why he'd let Oikawa press him against the wall and kiss him breathless in the bar's bathroom.

Except he _does_ know, why he'd kissed back, and why he'd asked for more, even when there were stupid wolf-whistles from everyone when Oikawa, a hand in the back pocket of Koushi's pants, announced that they were done for the night and going home. He does know why, and if he isn't drunk enough, he prays that Oikawa is at least a little too buzzed to not realize anything from catching the way Koushi's been watching him-- now that Koushi has him under him, then at the bar when they'd been sharing a bottle, even all the way back to when he was nothing but an inferior setter compared to the prefecture's best, all those years ago.

There is a quiet hum from under him when Koushi's unconsciously slowed down any and all action he's been gracing Oikawa's body with, having been too lost in a sudden deluge of his own thoughts, and Koushi, in all of his fake drunken stupor, has to lift himself up a little, supported by hands on the bed just above Oikawa's shoulders.

"You okay?" Oikawa is a little red in the face, eyes a little glassy, breaths a little huffy, and he's asking Koushi if _he's_ okay.

Oikawa is pulling his hands out from under Koushi's shirt, and the warmth is immediately missed. He fights a sigh of disappointment from the loss, but he can't fight the resignation in himself as he plops himself down, letting his weight fall on top of Oikawa's body.

One hand settling on a safe spot on Koushi's waist and the other reaching up to stroke at his hair, Koushi at least lets himself breathe easy. If this is too intimate for a one-night-stand, he refuses to make any verbal comment about it, and his own hands feel like lead where they've fallen off of Oikawa and onto the bed to keep himself from touching any more, no matter how much he so badly wants to.

The pillow he lays his head on beside Oikawa's smells like fresh laundry detergent. He doesn't try to breathe in deeper, doesn't let himself look for the scent of Oikawa in his own space-- but when he turns his face, tucks it into Oikawa's neck, the scent overwhelms him all the same.

"What are you thinking about?" Oikawa's mouth is so close to Koushi's ear that he feels soft lips ghost over his skin. He also asks this so quietly that there is suddenly a chill overtaking Koushi's body at the realization that Oikawa cannot be drunk at all anymore at this point either. Not that Koushi thinks making out with someone you've had some secret admiration for and unspoken sexual tension with for years is an actually sobering activity, but it catches him off guard still.

"Oikawa--"

"Tooru," Oikawa corrects for him. He's so casual about it and Koushi really doesn't want to make this harder or more complicated than it already is.

He tries not to show his surprise at that, too. "Tooru," Koushi starts again, but he doesn't remember what he wants to say, doesn't really know if he had anything to say in the first place. A confession of his feelings would be way out of the question, but he knows it's right at the tip of his tongue and if Oikawa-- _Tooru_ \-- asks again, he doesn't know if he'd be able to _not_ say it out loud.

"Did I do something wrong?" The fingers that Tooru has been running through Koushi's hair stills, and if he needed any more confirmation of Tooru's lack of inebriation, this is definitely it. There's no way anyone with low-tolerance wasted on cheap shots would be this concerned about him and-- "Suga-chan?"

Koushi, against his better judgement, tries to snuggle in impossibly closer against Tooru's body. After letting out a lighthearted groan, he says, "Don't call me that."

"Koushi-chan, then?" His laugh is beautiful, even when Koushi is low-key going through a crisis at what all of this even means, but when he doesn't get an answer, his voice at least quiets down into some semblance of seriousness. "Koushi?"

Koushi hates how unfair it is that his name in Tooru's voice sounds so good, but he hates even more that he wants to hear it more-- not even just tonight. Which just brings him to his racing thoughts all over again.

He and Tooru's never gotten closer than this, whatever they are: friends who occasionally meet because of some odd camaraderie old rival schools have suddenly formed after graduation, friends who text and tell stories and joke around and flirt, maybe, and there's never been anything more to touch than matching peace signs or teasing slaps on backs or playful punches or hands on shoulders when group pictures are being taken.

To have Tooru under him like this, and for Koushi to be feeling like he belongs here, on top of him, with no room to question when Tooru's arms have found themselves around Koushi's body, even when this is only the first and might as well be the last time he's ever getting this close to him-- isn't it too much too soon?

Or is it actually too little after too long?

"What are the rules to this," Koushi asks in a whisper, because there must be rules to this. Unspoken or explicit, there has to be lines Koushi cannot cross, especially when he's been nursing one-sided feelings for Tooru for who even knows how long now. Just because Tooru is letting him touch him like this in bed doesn't really mean anything.

He doesn't lift his head, knowing he wouldn't be able to look at Tooru's face and deny how much he likes him, how much he might already be in love with him, after getting to know him through nights like these with friends and texts after work and interactions on the internet.

"It's cool." The quiet laugh Tooru lets out in response is still too damningly enticing, but his answer makes Koushi focus on his words entirely. "There are no rules."

"No rules?"

"That's what I tell them."

Koushi's mind is drawing a blank trying to figure out what Tooru is saying, but he only pulls away from his neck to non-verbally show his confusion using his face.

"My friends. That's what they tell me, too."

There are gentle hands that pry Koushi off of Tooru's body, and if it stings a little somewhere in his chest, he tries his best not to let it show. After all, it barely takes even three seconds before he's being pulled back a bit, positioned so he's facing Tooru who's laying on his side now. Their faces are so close that Koushi thinks he could definitely just reach out across that small bit of space to kiss him again. He probably isn't in the place to, though.

"Everyone kept saying I should just go for it." That's barely any explanation, but suddenly something is clicking, and suddenly the clarity in Tooru's eyes make up for all of the slight confusion Koushi's just started feeling. "Crushes and stuff."

Koushi has always been a good strategist, has always known to look at signs and make the most out of them-- but Tooru's always been some sort of enigma to him, always so close and yet so far at the same time, and now everything is finally making sense. 

All the times Tooru would send him pictures, all the times Tooru asked how he was, all the times Tooru got defensive when his former teammates would get too comfortable teasing Koushi, all the times Tooru would look for him first when he arrived late at their dumb gatherings-- all the times Koushi found himself falling every time Tooru deliberately paid him any special attention, all the times Koushi thought he shouldn't look too deep or overthink because he didn't have a chance, all the times that almost killed him but didn't--

He'd always been worried that if he bled, Tooru would be the last to know, but there won't be any pain now, or any in the near future either.

All of it is making sense, just now, and he'd been nervous before, yes, but if Tooru is going for it then that means he can, too, even if it will take everything in him. What doesn't kill Koushi has always made him want Tooru more, after all.

"You went for it, alright," Koushi breathes out, trying to school his expression into anything less than how delirious he's really feeling. Alcohol might not have been enough to make his brain hazy, but this-- Tooru's eyes on him, his lips in a sincere smile, his hand reaching out to touch Koushi once more-- there isn't even any room to doubt or for Koushi to misunderstand. His brain is going fuzzy but his mind is as clear as it can be. He knows he's got it right. "Should I have gone for it, too?"

"You're in my bed," Tooru answers. "Isn't that _going for it_ enough?"

The smoothness with which Tooru answers in any situation doesn't surprise Koushi anymore, but right now when he's feeling a little on edge yet light-headed at the same time, it serves to fuel a small, starting fire within him. "I've spent so much of tonight just stuck in my head," he admits, then seeing Tooru's eyes soften even more, adds, "Could have been kissing you some more instead."

The smirk he gets in return is enough indication that this is still on the right track, like it was meant to take this path all this time, and now that they're both finally on it, it looks like there's no turning back. Tooru wants him, too. "That sounds like a great idea."

Tooru's hand is a light slip and press against the back of Koushi's neck-- not that he needs any more pressure when he's surging forward very willingly of his own accord, really. "Does it?" His question is rhetorical at best, teasing for the sake of familiarity, answers already known to both of them.

Tooru presses his lips to Koushi's, chaste, weightless, dry and feather-light, like Koushi hadn't already had Tooru's tongue down his throat both at the bar and by the door of Tooru's room, but it sends a shiver down his spine, pleasure coursing through him at finally hearing that Tooru feels the same way-- _no, wait,_ he hasn't really heard anything, has he?

He places a hand on Tooru's chest to push him away, just the slightest. "This means..."

Tooru is only now opening his eyes from their brief kiss, gazing at Koushi in confusion.

"You like me, right?"

There's a beat of silence, Tooru frozen for two seconds at most, before he's laughing and pushing himself forward to slip one arm under Koushi and pulling him against his body with the other one. Koushi is close to suffocating, but it has nothing to do with how tightly Tooru is holding him.

When there are emotions this overwhelming, how is one supposed to be breathing properly?

"Just answer me," Koushi mumbles, liking the feel of his lips against Tooru's chest and Tooru's chin on the top of his head. He's nuzzling and Koushi knows the answer, but just in case. "Do you like me or not, Tooru?"

In immediate answer, Tooru exclaims, "Koushi, I _love_ you!" His voice is deafening, not in its volume but in its sincerity. "Now, isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard?"

"God, no," Koushi answers. How could it be the worst when it literally isn't even anywhere near _bad_? This is the best thing he has ever heard, has ever been said to him. He thinks of saying it back, thoughts of going too fast escaping his mind, because it isn't much of a secret anymore now, is it? If this happened any time earlier, by a week or a month or a year, Koushi would have been scared of his secret coming out, and to be found out by the object of his affection no less.

But Koushi just now has decided that he doesn't want to keep secrets just to keep Tooru, and he realizes he doesn't have to. "I think I love you, too."

The offended gasp is all but mocking as he pulls away from Koushi still in his arms. "You _think_?!"

Koushi can't help but fall even more for the man he's climbing back on top of, indignant and over-dramatic. It makes him smile thinking about how easily he can get used to this. There won't be any devils rolling their dice, no angels rolling their eyes. Right now there's only Koushi who's thankful for the Tooru who, as he said, _went_ for it and sealed their fate.

"Yeah." And if Tooru has any more complaining to do, it dies down and morphs into a pleased sound when their lips meet and stay pressed together then.

**Author's Note:**

> kinda questionable if i did this song any justice but i like how this turned out somehow actually :00 i dont have oisuga friends but pls be kind :3c
> 
> [🛏️](https://open.spotify.com/track/1BxfuPKGuaTgP7aM0Bbdwr?si=6c7c0c9959294b5d)


End file.
